Still Trying to Figure Him Out

Conversation last Saturday.

Becky to Duane: “Why don’t we plant a lemon tree?”
Duane to Becky: "O.k."

What Becky would have done:
Go to garden center, buy lemon tree, dig hole, plant lemon tree.

What Duane did:
Go to garden center. Talk to someone about lemon trees. Look at lemon trees. Decide to go back home and find a good place to plant a lemon tree. Decide to renovate the entire back flower bed to make room for lemon tree. Begin digging up twenty year old banana trees in flowerbed to make room for lemon tree. Begin digging up brick edging from around the flower bed. Carry bricks to truck. Carry bricks back to flower bed to use as fillers because we didn’t have enough dirt to fill in where we dug the brick edging up. Go back to garden center and buy 200 pounds of rock to use as edging. Work until dark replacing brick edging with rock. Wait a week. In the meantime talk to everyone he knows about lemon trees. Go to visit a neighbor who has a lemon tree in his back yard. Get up the next Saturday and continue the project. Run out of rock to edge the flowerbed. Go back to garden center. Buy 75 more pounds of rock to finish edging the flowerbed. Buy lemon tree. Go back home. Finish reconstructing the flowerbed. Plant lemon tree.

Ya gotta love him, but does the man not drive you crazy?

Free Make-up

My friend, Lezlie, called me this morning and told me that all the big, fancy department stores were giving out free makeup today! She heard something on the radio about a multi-million dollar lawsuit/settlement that required them to just simply pass out make-up until they had completed their penance to society...or something like that.

Well, it wasn't exactly what we envisioned in our heart of hearts...But, we lined up in Dillards with hundreds of other women to get this amazing free offer. The line snaked through the cosmetics department, and though it was long...moved fast. All we had to do was sign something, take our pick of one out of about nineteen specified items, and make a run for it! Yea!

I got some free Lancome mascara. and Lezlie got some free Ralph Lauren Romance shower gel. FREE! Stuff we would probably never buy, but hey - it was FREE!

Our in-line conversation went like this,
Lezlie: "Men would never do this."
Me: "I know. Duane would say, 'How much does that stuff cost? Ten bucks? Here's ten bucks, just go buy you some."
Lezlie: "I know. They would never wait in line for free anything."
Me: "I know. Men would never do this."

The Difference Between Boys and Girls

When my girls were little, like-toddlers-in-the-high-chair-little, they would do things like pick up a piece of spaghetti off of their plate and rock it between their fingers and hum, “Rock a Bye Baby”. When my boy was little, even littler , like-a-just-sitting-up-baby-in-a-high-chair-little, he would move cheerios around on the high chair tray making blubbering boy “putting “ noises with his mouth like they were cars. Yes, before he could even talk.

I didn’t teach them that.

They are no longer little. Now they are 20, 26, and 28. So last Friday I found a mouse head on my nice flagstone patio. My daughter Ashley’s very unique long haired black cat, Edgar, sat nearby looking very full and contented. (My son, Jeff, says Edgar is just biding his time until he can take over the world.) So I texted the kids a message about the mouse head, and got these replies:

Daughters: Eewwww.
Son: Take a picture!
And upon receiving the picture: That’s AWESOME!

…the difference between boys and girls…