Famous Quotes

My friend, Jules, and I have a habit of recording “famous quotes” when we are together attending a children’s ministry conference, staff meeting, etc. Sometimes they are profound, sometimes they don’t make sense at all, sometimes they are just pretty darned funny. So here’s a few for your reading enjoyment:

“You’re so big and sweet!” Miss Pattycake

“I want to give you 2 ‘F’ words….” An unnamed Minister of Education in a large southern Baptist Church in Georgia, speaking at a Children’s Pastors Conference. (We never heard the 2 words, b/c we were so stunned by the quote we were kicking each other under the table to keep from laughing. Though I think one of the “f” words might have been “focus”.)

“Dedicated and medicated” Gigi, in describing children’s ministers without true balance in their lives

“In two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.” Crabby Bill

“Aaarggghhh…" Cap’t Jim the pirate.

“Did you know one billion oh ninety-five million people live in India? Good God, that’s a lot of people!” Said with a really bad southern accent by an unnamed museum visitor reading the signs at a museum exhibit on India (quote shared by our friend, Marty, but laughed at by all of us)

“I will be a fly on your wall.” Another unnamed Minister of Education stating he will be involved in the lives of his staff

“Jesus came to fill His Presence in the storms of our life.” Anonymous (I’m not willing to expose this person because she is Jules favorite person to stalk at conferences and holds the respect of a lot of children’s ministers across the country.) And yes, i know the quote makes no sense whatsoever. It was on a powerpoint slide.

“We all have a Crap Meter. When we hear something and think ‘that’s not true’ our Crap meter goes off. (then, somewhat under his breath) Can I say Crap up here?” a crazy man keynote speaker at a children’s ministry leadership conference. (Might I add that when he said “crap”, the Anonymous person referred to in the above quote closed her notebook and folded her arms. Bad sign for the crazy man. He just lost all chance of ever presenting at a children’s ministry leadership conference again..)

“It’s BROCCOLI!” mean waitress, responding to our friend Lezlie’s two questions : “What kind of broccoli is it?” and “How is the broccoli prepared?”